COMING SOON:

The Center for Lee Marvin Studies

The repository for everything Lee Marvin on the internet. To include my own Marvin-related musings, experiences, and research. We'll also be taking submissions, so if you feel a special connection to Lee Marvin, the man himself or his work, or have any opinions or theories to offer start thinking about what you want to say.

"You could be a meat eater, kid, and I mean people, not their garbage!"

The Great American Psychopath

A cross between Captain Ahab and Wyle Coyote.

The Eleventh Pin

An errant bowling pin in search of balls.

Dishwashers

School Loan Default Support Center

Clown research

What's so damn funny? I don't see anybody laughin'!

Memoirs of a Loser:

"A Guy Like Me"

"It took me forever to find my first job when we relocated to Tucson. The fact that it totally sucked didn't matter much to me – or so I thought – because don't ALL jobs suck? It was work and we needed the money. I was hesitant going in, because of all the signals I was getting. Every workplace is unique in some way, but you can pretty much break them down into categories depending upon the type of work that it is and the personality of whoever is in charge of things. The… Lighting Showroom was one of those places with a decidedly phys ed/football team atmosphere (perhaps the worst kind of place to find yourself, especially when you had no other options and were desperate for money, like me). I didn't know it at the time, but providence was about to step in and lend me another hand."

"Who Wound You Up, Motherfucker?"

"I'd be lying if I said that I knew before we even set out for Chicago that we'd have to spring one member of our party from the insane asylum and end up in a rumble with a mob of commies, but it wasn't much of a surprise, either."

"You Can Cry All You Want To, Baby"

"I stared into my father's dying eyes and watched a single tear form in his left eye and just hang there, never falling, as his life drained away."

"I Was a Dishwasher in a Chinese Restaurant"

"When I started washing dishes at The Sampan I was in a highly disoriented state of mind. You might say I was a borderline schizophrenic, and the fact that I wound up receiving messages from televisions and animals might confirm that suspicion. However, by the time I walked out of that place for the last time, three years later, I was the healthy, well-adjusted specimen you see before you today."

"The Second Time I Almost Killed My Wife"

"It was turning out to be a very bad day. What is it about a malfunctioning lawnmower that sends me over the edge?"

"The Rabbit, the Turtle, and the Lawnmower"

"To this day I'm not sure whether these three things were connected or not, but even though I consider myself a rationalist and totally reject the existence of the supernatural today I can't say for certain that I wasn't actually receiving messages from some mysterious place."

"Last Night at Stan's Bar"

"One night, the barmaid got drunk. She lay there, passed out on the floor in the empty barroom after closing time as I went about my nightly janitorial duties. As I mopped around her, tracing the outline of her misshapen body with my filthy mop, she stirred and spoke. "Fuckalotta Yooouuuu!" she screeched."

"Never Shag Another Man's Balls"

"Three polyester and banlon assholes were up on the deck, yelling at me to get out of the way, but I just stood there staring at them. I knew they'd never hit a ball out that far. Every day it was shag the balls and scrub the balls, shag the balls and scrub the balls….Would it ever end?"

"Strangling Dad"

"I had finally reached that point, the point I knew would eventually arrive ever since I was ten years old, where I would snap and try to kill him. Unlike my older brother, who was far too weak and stupidly attacked him from the front with a steak knife, ending up flipped on his back like a child, I knew for a fact that I could take him. Before I even realized what was happening I grabbed him from behind and wrapped my right arm around his throat and started choking him. Before long, I had driven him his knees and my work began in earnest. Sure, he was hyped up from the cocaine and near-psychotic, but he was also much older than I was at the time and I wasn't about to let him win. As I applied the pressure, I realized I wasn't really in my body at the time. It was like I was floating above it, somehow, watching it all like a detached observer."

"The Power of Prayer"

"My best friend in sixth grade was George Literall (his real name), a hugely fat boy who was widely reviled by the other kids, even the ones everyone else hated. George came from a Pentecostal family and everyday in science or at lunch he would regale me with stories about his girlfriend at church or The Rapture, at least when we weren't talking about the monster movies we both loved so well."

"The Mayor of Tokyo"

"He was at it again, telling stories about his exploits in Post-WWII Japan, selling contraband to black marketers and whoring and boozing and drugging it up and generally abusing the locals. This usually happened after he drank the better part of a 12-pack of Bud and had smoked couple joints. It started as usual, with him standing up and announcing "I WAS THE MAYOR OF TOKYO!" in the middle of a story about his time in the Army, when he was part of the occupation forces, right before getting to the good part."

"A Plague of Clowns"

"The clown-stigmata had returned and my nose was swollen and red, tender from the inflamed pores. If I was any type of clown, it was the sad clown kind: the absolute worst of them. At least I was safe inside my house, protected from the roving bands of free-ranging clowns that I felt had been tailing me for weeks."

And more…

Movie Reviews

Music Reviews

Popular Culture Analysis

The Endless Ranting of a Disoriented Mind

Watch this space for further developments…